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[nottheboss]

It's late at night. The corridors aren't quiet; they're full of men and women restlessly trying to sleep in their quarters. Bossie should be one of them. But instead he slips barefoot down the hallway to Carver's room, where he knocks.

"Hey, man, you up?"

Comments

[fortitudosalutis]

"Rhinestones," Carver murmurs, charmed. Pope's probably gonna get all huffy when he sees. "Maybe we can get 'em harnesses. Put unit patches and stuff on 'em so they're proper Reapers."

[nottheboss]

"Oh hell yes! Little Reaper patches?" He looks down at his tattoo reflexively and grins. "We're gonna do it. Reaper cats."

Pope no doubt never saw this coming for them. But Carver says they get to keep the kittens and keep them safe and that's all that matters.

[fortitudosalutis]

"Like for the war dogs."

They've got their own body armor and their handlers are allowed to decorate it, within reason. But the cats won't need that. The cats aren't war fighters. He's quietly, absurdly grateful for that distinction.

"Little Reaper cats," Carver agrees softly. "Ours."

[nottheboss]

"Maybe they can be like our mascots. They don't have to fight the real battles, they just are here to keep our spirits high." They can have that, can't they?

[fortitudosalutis]

“The r and r committee.”

And if they have a job, then they justify their worth.

“They’ll be mousers, too,” he adds. “We got rodent problems.”

[nottheboss]

"Fuck, man, I had a rat fall on my face while I was trying to sleep," he groans. "How're we supposed to get rest with rats? And Austin, he thought it was hilarious, he was making fun of me..."

He leans closer to Kali. "Get bigger. I need you to hunt for me."

[fortitudosalutis]

Despite himself, Carver huffs at that. “God, you remember the rats in Korengal? Meanest fuckers in the universe. Least they didn’t drop on your face, though, Jesus.”

Kali grumbles and noses against Bossie’s hand.

“I hope she gets big,” he admits. “It’s hard to think she will, she’s so small now…”

He weighs her and she’s making steady gains, but it’s slow. Well below her brothers and sisters.

[nottheboss]

"Pope gave you the runt cause you're best one to raise her up," Bossie says, thinking that he was once younger and smaller and weaker. That he is who he is now because Pope trusted Carver to raise him up.

He lays his head against Carver's shoulder. "Thanks for letting me stay."

[fortitudosalutis]

Quietly, Carver wonders if Bossie knows or suspects that Carver's thought of him as the runt more than once. The quieter one, the weaker one. Every group has one at the beginning. It doesn't matter as much as people assume with his students. He's seen the strong ones fall, the others rise.

Bossie's the one who made it. And that, if nothing else, Carver can feel proud of.

He sighs and kisses the side of Bossie's head, cupping a hand to the back of his neck. "It helped," he admits softly. "Didn't think it would, but it did."

[nottheboss]

"Yeah?" He can't help the hope in his voice. "Well I can try to help whenever you want. Seriously, man. Anytime."

[fortitudosalutis]

Carver just nuzzles against him, eyes half-lidded. Exhaustion threatening to drag him down all over again.

Nonetheless, he stays. And Bossie stays.

"What'd you want for breakfast? I'll make you something special."

[nottheboss]

"Pancakes," he murmurs dreamily. "With the crispy edges."

No one makes them like Carver.

"You think you can sleep a little more? I'll keep watch."

[fortitudosalutis]

Could he? Carver nuzzles against Bossie, playing absently with his hair. "I'll make them," he murmurs. "Bacon, too. The good kind."

Good and crispy.

"I'll try," he adds. "For a little."

[nottheboss]

"I got you," he promises. He shifts, sitting back against the wall. He won't let anyone get to Carver, demon or human.

[fortitudosalutis]

Quietly, Carver cups his hand to Kali so she won't slip and then he does something that's probably unwise and against six different regulations and just lies his head down in Bossie's lap. He lays Kali down on the mattress next to him, stroking her gently. "Move her," he murmurs. "If I start dreaming. Please."

[nottheboss]

"I will. I'll keep her safe, I promise." He strokes Carver's hair. "Just breathe. Think of the best place you've ever been."

[fortitudosalutis]

He sighs, grinding his forehead against Bossie's knee. The best place he's ever been?

"You ever been to Colorado, kid?" he murmurs. "It's really something up in the mountains."

[nottheboss]

"No, only mountains I've ever seen were the hills in Tennessee," he murmurs. "Tell me what it's like?"

[fortitudosalutis]

Carver hums a little, thinking back. "Thick trees and dark stone," he murmurs. "But when you get up high, you can see forever. Everything feels so goddamn big...it's like you can finally take a deep breath."

[nottheboss]

"Yeah, just imagine you're there now," he murmurs, stroking Carver's hair, massaging his temples lightly. "We're on top of a mountain. Hey maybe we could do that someday."

[fortitudosalutis]

“I’ll take you,” he murmurs. “We can go hunting. I’ll show you all the stars, it’s so quiet at night…”

Maybe they could even take the cats. Put them on leashes and carry them in packs, explore the woods away from all the noise.

[nottheboss]

"I miss hunting," Bossie sighs. "Haven't been since I was a kid, really. I'm a way better shot now."

Wouldn't it be nice to be out in the woods with Carver, just living off the land for once? Without the shadows of urban life weighing them down.

"We could bring some of the guys too. I bet they'd like it." Even if Bossie thinks what he'd really like is one on one time with Carver out in the wild.

[fortitudosalutis]

“Shaw took me once. It was nice.”

They shot ducks. Cleaned and cooked them after and had beers, talking about everything but Korengal. He misses it, Carver realizes. That sense of peace.

“We should do it,” he murmurs. “Go camping. You can show me all the birds.”

[nottheboss]

"Oh, man, I bet the birds in the Rockies are incredible," he says wistfully. In his head there's a list of all the Western birds he's never seen before.

"You think we'll ever get enough time off to do that?"

[fortitudosalutis]

Carver hums, feeling himself drifting. What does he know about birds? So little. But he’s seen hawks playing in the thermals, he knows the way Bossie’s face lights up when he names them and thinks that’s almost like prayer. A sense of joy in the world as it is, without reservation.

“One day,” he murmurs, even though he’s not sure that’s true. “One day…”