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[nottheboss]

It's late at night. The corridors aren't quiet; they're full of men and women restlessly trying to sleep in their quarters. Bossie should be one of them. But instead he slips barefoot down the hallway to Carver's room, where he knocks.

"Hey, man, you up?"

Comments

[nottheboss]

"I can watch while you nap a little more," he offers, because he's helpless to offer anything else. Anything better. There are no answers, are there? Not for this.

[fortitudosalutis]

Carver just rocks Kali. "Sure," he murmurs. You have to say something. "That helps."

It does. Just maybe not enough. But he can't worry the kids.

[nottheboss]

"The cats make it look so easy don't they? They sleep like...eighteen hours a day," Bossie says softly, watching Kali. Thinking of Louis.

[fortitudosalutis]

"They do," Carver agrees softly. He rocks Kali, listening to her purr. "I like to keep her with me. Put her in my pocket or carry her basket around. I know the others like to be with the other babies, but I just...I like having her around."

It helps. Not much else does.

[nottheboss]

"She's your baby," Bossie says with a smile, watching him. "I like how you are with her."

it reminds him that something in this awful world can still be soft. Can still be gentle, even after going through hell.

[fortitudosalutis]

Carver huffs a little. "They're something special, aren't they? You ever look at yours and just feel like at peace with the universe and shit?"

He does, sometimes. It's nice.

[nottheboss]

He chuckles. "Hell yeah I do. Louis likes to be on my chest and then he does that thing with his paws, where they're like, kneading? And I get little scratches but it's worth it. 'Cause he's so happy he falls asleep like that. Just holding onto me like as long as he does that he's safe."

[fortitudosalutis]

"The kneading," Carver agrees, softening. He likes that, too. "Does he grab you with his paws, like a kid would?"

Some of the others do. Kali's so little she can't quite do it yet but some of the others like to cling.

[nottheboss]

"Yeah he does!" Bossie beams. "And he likes to groom me. When I get out of the shower he's gotta get up there and comb my hair with his tongue."

He didn't think he could love something so small so much.

"We really get to keep them? Pope said?"

[fortitudosalutis]

That’s adorable. Carver huffs at the image, wondering if it’s anything like the impulse he gets sometimes to muss Bossie’s hair up after they’ve been roughhousing. “He’s a good little cat,” Carver murmurs. “And yeah. Pope said. They’re our responsibility.”

He knows Riley’s been worried about that, but Pope doesn’t lie. It’s been said and thus it’s so.

[nottheboss]

"Let's go out tomorrow after drills. We'll get collars and treats for them. I mean not Kali yet, she's too little, but she can grow into her collar." He strokes her. "A little pink one for her. With those little rhinestones. That's what she needs."

[fortitudosalutis]

"Rhinestones," Carver murmurs, charmed. Pope's probably gonna get all huffy when he sees. "Maybe we can get 'em harnesses. Put unit patches and stuff on 'em so they're proper Reapers."

[nottheboss]

"Oh hell yes! Little Reaper patches?" He looks down at his tattoo reflexively and grins. "We're gonna do it. Reaper cats."

Pope no doubt never saw this coming for them. But Carver says they get to keep the kittens and keep them safe and that's all that matters.

[fortitudosalutis]

"Like for the war dogs."

They've got their own body armor and their handlers are allowed to decorate it, within reason. But the cats won't need that. The cats aren't war fighters. He's quietly, absurdly grateful for that distinction.

"Little Reaper cats," Carver agrees softly. "Ours."

[nottheboss]

"Maybe they can be like our mascots. They don't have to fight the real battles, they just are here to keep our spirits high." They can have that, can't they?

[fortitudosalutis]

“The r and r committee.”

And if they have a job, then they justify their worth.

“They’ll be mousers, too,” he adds. “We got rodent problems.”

[nottheboss]

"Fuck, man, I had a rat fall on my face while I was trying to sleep," he groans. "How're we supposed to get rest with rats? And Austin, he thought it was hilarious, he was making fun of me..."

He leans closer to Kali. "Get bigger. I need you to hunt for me."

[fortitudosalutis]

Despite himself, Carver huffs at that. “God, you remember the rats in Korengal? Meanest fuckers in the universe. Least they didn’t drop on your face, though, Jesus.”

Kali grumbles and noses against Bossie’s hand.

“I hope she gets big,” he admits. “It’s hard to think she will, she’s so small now…”

He weighs her and she’s making steady gains, but it’s slow. Well below her brothers and sisters.

[nottheboss]

"Pope gave you the runt cause you're best one to raise her up," Bossie says, thinking that he was once younger and smaller and weaker. That he is who he is now because Pope trusted Carver to raise him up.

He lays his head against Carver's shoulder. "Thanks for letting me stay."

[fortitudosalutis]

Quietly, Carver wonders if Bossie knows or suspects that Carver's thought of him as the runt more than once. The quieter one, the weaker one. Every group has one at the beginning. It doesn't matter as much as people assume with his students. He's seen the strong ones fall, the others rise.

Bossie's the one who made it. And that, if nothing else, Carver can feel proud of.

He sighs and kisses the side of Bossie's head, cupping a hand to the back of his neck. "It helped," he admits softly. "Didn't think it would, but it did."

[nottheboss]

"Yeah?" He can't help the hope in his voice. "Well I can try to help whenever you want. Seriously, man. Anytime."

[fortitudosalutis]

Carver just nuzzles against him, eyes half-lidded. Exhaustion threatening to drag him down all over again.

Nonetheless, he stays. And Bossie stays.

"What'd you want for breakfast? I'll make you something special."

[nottheboss]

"Pancakes," he murmurs dreamily. "With the crispy edges."

No one makes them like Carver.

"You think you can sleep a little more? I'll keep watch."

[fortitudosalutis]

Could he? Carver nuzzles against Bossie, playing absently with his hair. "I'll make them," he murmurs. "Bacon, too. The good kind."

Good and crispy.

"I'll try," he adds. "For a little."

[nottheboss]

"I got you," he promises. He shifts, sitting back against the wall. He won't let anyone get to Carver, demon or human.